Roadhouse Magazine Issue 27

G uys get depressed. It’s not a sign of weakness, it’s a fact. Depression affects millions of men every year, and is the leading cause of disability worldwide. Depression is a thief, it’s an illness that can rob you of your will to live. It can also steal: 1. The pleasure from things that used to give you joy. 2. Your physical energy and strength. 3. Your connections to work p colleagues, friends and family. 4. Your ability to handle stress. There are many misconceptions about depression that make it difficult for men to talk to others and take charge of their health. The myths need to stop and some of them are: 1. Depression is a sign of personal mental weakness. 2. ‘Real men’ are in control of their p emotions and shouldn’t ever let p things get to them. 3. Feeling sad or down is not manly. 4. Anyone that’s strong enough should p be able to ‘snap out of it’. 5. Men should not ask for help, they p should be able to cope on their own. Because of these myths, men will often talk about feeling angry or irritable rather than sad or down. These myths can also feel like handcuffs for men, preventing them from reaching out to others for even a little support. This contributes to many men not seeking support until their depression is very severe, if at all. This can place men at an increased risk of taking their own lives – the greatest risk factor for suicide is untreated depression. Fortunately, more and more men, including professional athletes, musicians, actors, lawyers, businessmen, writers, tradesmen, teachers, men in the military, and everyone in between, are ‘going public’ about depression and taking control of their health. We know that men get a lot of support and connection by just hanging out and knowing what’s going on with their mates. Yet, blokes aren’t always too good at starting the conversation to check in if they’re worried about a friend. Many men are wired to keep their feelings to themselves, to just ‘get on with it’, ‘she’ll be right’. Men are told directly and indirectly, time after time, that talking about how they’re feeling is somehow weak or un- manly. This kind of thinking can be really harmful, not just for men themselves, but for the people around them, too. Showing our mates that we’re here for them might mean sucking it up and starting the tough conversation, especially if we’re worried about them. It could be the moment you prevent your mate from taking his life, and that’s worth the temporary weirdness you might feel when starting the conversation with them. Ever wanted to reach out to your friends but didn’t know how? Or, wished the phone would ring so you didn’t have to take the first step? Chances are, you might have a mate who’s feeling the same way right now. Just checking in and being there for your mates can make all the difference in terms of support when someone you know is struggling, and can make all the difference in terms of recovery from symptoms of a mental illness. A simple conversation can help make someone feel less alone, more connected and more supported. Sometimes all it takes to break down the barriers is for you to start the conversation with your mate and ask if they’re doing OK. Depression doesn’t discriminate - celebrities seem to have their lives under control but they generally don’t. Some well known people that have battled the ‘Black Dog’ are; Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, Ellen Degeneres, Johnny Depp, Eminem, Harrison Ford, Angelina Jolie, Lady Gaga, Michael Phelps, Brad Pitt, Matthew Perry, Owen Wilson... and the list goes on and on and on. Never think that you or your mates are alone or that you are only ones fighting the dark feelings that accompany this disease. If you’re worried about your mate and think he might need a bit of extra support, and not sure where to turn, a great starting point is Beyond Blue’s Support Service. If your mate would prefer not to talk to someone over the phone, he can have a yarn anonymously via a web chat with a professional who can point him in the right direction. Last year more than 150,000 people in Australia contacted Beyond Blue about their concerns – both big and small – and you can too. Contact Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 24hrs/7 Days. MEN’S HEALTH 57 RHM Magazine - roadhouse.net.au “If you’re depressed, reach out and talk to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem.” — Robin Williams