CATEGORY AUSTRALASIAN DENTIST 123 REALITY BITES kind people at the Thailand Cutie Paradise Dental Clinic beamed me a subliminal hug, and told me to just relax into it. About two days later I got another message. “You coming or not?” I arrived about 15 minutes early, for the advantages of their Air Conditioning. A fetching poster of a lovely blonde woman in a rose-pink haze, with a shimmering smile sat next to me. I was deeply encouraged by her serene proof of ease of tooth whitening. About 45 minutes later a harried dental nurse in surgical cleans, including pink disposable slippers, shoved some paperwork at me and disappeared into the back. I made a mental note not to choose the Cutie Paradise clinic if I had actual dental work to do. Anhour andahalf aftermyappointment time I was given a pair of my own surgical slippers and squeezed down an S-bend into a surgery that was almost exactly the same size as the dental chair within it. The female doctor did not have a Cutie Paradise sort of a vibe. She and the nurse made a brief, practiced shove maneuver on me, which somehow popped me up into the chair, where I was immediately blinded by the surgical lamp and began experiencing early onset symptoms of terror. Something was not well with Dr Cutie. She had a perfect, medically bleached complexion, made-up eyes, and immaculate, mildly threatening drawn-on eyebrows. There was no evidence anywhere that a happy cartoon molar had ever surfed merrily down a palm tree under her watch. I told myself that an innocent, youthgiving radiant white smile was worth a half hour or soofDrCutie’s ice-coldemanations, and tried to relax into the death grip of the sticky chair, in the tight corner, on this tiny island, far away from home. Dr Cutie seemed angry that I was late. Which made things more surreal. She seemed angry with me in general. “You want checkup? You want treatment? You want clean?” She demanded. “Aaahh. I’m here for the tooth whitening!” I suggested. “Like I said on your App, when I booked!” She huffed visibly. Open. And so began one of the most painful, brutal, humiliating and useless experiences in my life. Dr Cutie was not a fan of what she found inmy mouth. In her initial probe, she split my lip, stabbedmy gums andmuttered things like, “Huh! Have big problem with gums.” Stab. Flinch. Shudder. Have problem here! Stab. Here. Freeze. Here. Panic. Gumsproblem.Cleanproblem.Veneers wrong color. Not same. Big problems. Not clean, all the teeth. Big problems here! And here! Dr Cutie handled my face like someone trying to stuff an oversized pillow into an undersized slip, with a taser. She sat back, apparently disgusted. “Not possible,” she said, flatly. “Thees white treatment first must be have healthy gum, clean the teeth. Not possible like these with veneers. The veneers, not shure, they match, they no match. If white, possible they no match. I make new. You have the low pain strength, I see already. You need anesthetic for thees. Injections. Everywhere. Thees is many options. What you want?” But the poster made it seem so bright and breezy? There were snickers. After some useless enquiries I made the stupid decision to let this creature do the cleaning and never to come back to Cutie Paradise, ever again. The least I could salvage from this would be clean teeth. I could get white somewhere else. And so I was exposed to an experience which can only be compared to something you might witness in an abattoir. It was bloody. It was violent. I thought of the nice white teeth lady, smiling spiritually outside on her poster, for comfort. It would take me about a month to get over it. I was literally ragged when Dr Cutie finally put down her tools of horror. If she hadn’t have already proved how dangerous she was with her ‘dental instruments’, I would have liked to punch her in the face. She looked at me ice cold and said, “These been cancellation. Now we do white. Just two hundred fifty dollar. Could be problem we bleach gums in thees area with the bleeding. Here. AndHere. Might be very pain. Possible the gum area is bleech white also. I give you extra strong medicine for nerve pain and for the relax. You very not good strong woman. Ha Ha Ha.” u 1800 806 450 www.amalgadent.com.au REFER TO INSIDE FRONT COVER FOR MORE INFO! CoreFlo Footer #96.indd 2 25/10/2022 9:48:48 AM
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